quickie.

here's a quick update for everyone!

i have been completely incapacitated by the book "the help" for the past two days, which i finished last night...
it's as good as everyone says it is. 

anyways, yesterday i had my 40 week appointment.
i'm one centimeter dilated and 50% effaced.
this gives us absolutely no clues for when i will go into labor.

the midwife did strip my membranes.
you'll have to look this up if you don't know what it means, because i texted it to lisa yesterday and she almost barfed.
it's supposed to encourage the onset of labor by releasing prostoglandins.
the midwife said it would give me some pretty nasty contractions.

i slept through the night last night with a lot less contractions than normal.
hmph.

so here's the scoop a loop:

i have to go for another ultrasound next week because the midwife still thinks my baby feels small.
i think she's crazy (hey remember when she made me go last month and they said my baby was 6-12? yeah me too.) but at least it's something to break up the week next week.

then i have another appointment on friday, a week from today.  i have to have a non stress test and then they will try to strip my membranes again and then probably send me home with castor oil. yippeeeee.

what's a non stress test you might ask?
i though it was going to be something really fun where i had to like run from one corner of the room to the other and jump over obstacles, or answer really hard questions without getting stressed out.
(quick! your in laws are coming over for dinner, you only have peanut butter, cheerios, and parmesan cheese in your kitchen and thirty minutes, what do you make? GO!)
sadly it's much less exciting.
you just have to sit in a chair and they monitor your baby's heartbeat and movements for thirty minutes.
then they say yayyy the baby looks good and you go home.
maybe i'll bring a crossword puzzle to make it more stressful this time.
or maybe i'll make billy do challenges while i'm in the chair.
(quick! name all of the items in that drawer!).... (if you know what's in drawers at midwive's offices you know this would be followed by billy looking confused, sad, and then puking everywhere.)

so if friday march 4th comes and goes i have to go back on tuesday march 8th, for another non stress test and i think they make me go for another ultrasound to measure fluid pockets or something, i have no idea why. but it did make me think of hot pockets, which are simultaneously gross and delicious. then,

d day is wednesday march 9th.  hospital induction if junior here doesn't show up sooner.

this is encouraging because:
1) i'm not going to stay pregnant forever.
2) i will be at least one week post delivery on st. patrick's day and that means i'll be well enough to have a big ole honkin' st. patty's day guinness with billy. at a pub. wearing green. i can't wait.

it's the little things.
i'm definitely dressing the baby as a leprechaun and hiding him in a pot of gold in the house somewhere.
come over if you want a treasure hunt.
whoever finds him first gets to babysit.

other updates:
-the dressing room is kinda on hold because i can't justify buying anything for it right now when i'm not working for the next month.  but don't worry, i'll finish it soon and it will be rad.
-they should have given that little amoxicillin bottle a superhero cape.  i feel so much better.
-this morning i dreamt i had a pet squirrel that wore a red plaid jacket and sat on my shoulder. 
-i'm getting bored.