nope.

lots of people ask me questions lately like:

"how much longer do you have?"

"why haven't you had that baby yet?"

"what's taking so long?"

well, since i don't have a direct line of communication with my uterus...
("ring ring... hello, fetus?
yes it's your mother calling.
when are you coming over?
but you said...
but i thought...
well fine.
no it's fine.
i'll keep dinner warm.
sure honey.
well you're going to have to talk to your grandmother yourself.
okay bye.")
... i decided i would give you guys a little glimpse into what one of my visits with the midwife looks like.
just so you know that i'm not withholding information from you.

imagine... it's yesterday.
you have just driven to bryn mawr and are tottering up the stairs in your inappropriately trendy high heeled boots.
you check in.
you take off the inappropriately trendy high heeled boots.
you weigh yourself.
pat yourself on the back.
replace said boots.
totter back to the exam room.

midwife: "hi meg, how are you feeling?"
 
meg: "i feel good. except i have a sinus infection.  getting a sinus infection in the last week of your pregnancy is like getting kicked in the ankle in the last mile of a marathon.  don't you think?"

midwife: ::sympathetic smile::

meg: ::sniff::

midwife: so it's good your growth scan came back well last month.  any questions?

meg: except they told me the baby weighed 6lbs 12 ounces. last month.  i think he's going to be enormous and destroy me.  do you think he's going to be enormous?

midwife: your baby is going to be the size your baby is.

meg: hmm?

midwife:  the baby is the size it wants to be.

meg: so that's good then... ::looks around awkwardly::

midwife: any other concerns?

meg: yes, i'm concerned about being induced.  do you think i'll go into labor on my own?

midwife: your baby will come when your baby is ready.

meg: i hate you.

(just kidding i didn't say that.)

meg: anything i should be doing to ensure a timely delivery?

midwife: just stay active and have lots of sex.

** pause scene **

recall that i'm nine months pregnant.
recall the previously mentioned sinus infection.
you know those two year olds whose faces are all crusty because they don't know how to blow yet?
that's how i wake up in the morning.
plus covered in a mound of tissues.
plus breathing like there's a truck sitting on me.
plus drooling on myself because i can't breathe through my nose.
let's all just take a moment and feel sympathetic towards billy.

** end pause **

meg: okay.  ::thinks... poor billy::

midwife: let's listen to the heartbeat.  ::glump glump glump:: it sounds good.

meg: yayyyy.... (blahhhhh)

midwife: okay see you later!

you toddle down the stairs and get in your car.
that's what happens.
at 39 week appointments with your midwife.
i didn't leave anything out.
except for the part when my belly turns into a crystal ball and the midwife rubs my tummy and i click my trendy high heeled boots together and we can suddenly see INTO MY UTERUS in a sea of purple and blue mist and a magic number appears and the midwife and i both go "ahhhh, yes, yessss!" and then we laugh wickedly together and pinky swear we won't tell another soul.

i promise when the baby is born, i'll tell you.
all of you.
but if you just are reaaaallly wanting another update in the meantime, you can refer to this website:
http://www.haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com