i spent a solid thirty minutes after he left running from room to room with the vacuum cleaner laughing wickedly and screaming:
I TOLD YOU ALL YOU WOULD DIE!!!!
THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!
NO MERCY!
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
as i sucked up stink bug after stink bug.
i truly hate them.
and i get a sick pleasure out of watching them die.
i decided i needed to leave the house, because clearly i was losing my mind.
you see, the orkin man was two weeks late and the heavy rains had washed away all of my previous treatment, so the stink bugs were OUT of control, and i was clearly out of my mind.
it was time to get a life.
i was about to scoop up the little one and head to target (umm because clearly that's where you go when you have a life) when i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
oh.
that's what schizophrenia looks like.
-woobie worn as a scarf (aka finn's blanket, a la mr. mom) courtesy of aden & anais.
-plastic readers courtesy of bella boutique.
-ill fitting tank top- no idea.
-really old hollister jeans that are about ten inches too long and i had to roll up after getting them covered in mud while leaf blowing the front yard. (side note- finn tolerates the vacuum cleaner but i was really pushing my luck with the leaf blower this afternoon. i think i traumatized him for life.)
you can read my previous what i wore post here.
basically, this is a big step up because i'm not actually wearing the baby, just his blanket.
the blanket is so soft and it feels like a scarf so i kind of got confused and thought it was maybe?
i'm also not wearing clogs with socks, but i probably should have been because who knows what's lurking underneath my toenails after doing yardwork in my flip flops.
the worst part about this outfit is i didn't change before i went to target.
i just took off the blanket.
don't judge me.
honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if i was wearing the woobie as a toga and parading around my halls with the vacuum hose in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
i might do that after the redskins win.
my "show no mercy" stink bug face.
cheers!
3 comments:
Cracking up! And wow oh wow, you need to see the stink bugs at my parents' house. They live next to a corn field, and apparently stink bugs love cornfields? I walked up today to open the garage door with the keypad and I kid you not, it was COVERED with stinkbugs trying to get in and they were dive bombing me! I hate them.
you should've gone with the woobie. it totally works;)
Everything you said was hilarious, except for the redskins winning...too bad it was 12:00am when the game was over, a bottle of wine may have helped.
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