What it's all about

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

i'm not one to toot my own horn...

but what's that over there? a horn? hand me that.
*toot too too toooooo!*
thank you.

today in news of the hardcore housewife, i took care of a baby, hung some wash, ripped up a tile floor with my bare hands, and then patched some unlevel concrete.  now i think i'll go bake some freaking banana bread and build a house.  booyah!

billy and i are still receiving ginormous quotes on the cost to replace our kitchen/back room/half bath floors.  then, this weekend, while i was chatting with a neighbor, she said "why don't you just paint your floors?  i bet you could do something really creative with that, you're so creative."  why didn't i think of that neighbor lady who is obviously more creative than me? 

so we embarked on a treacherous hunt (google search) for linoleum floor paint and found this.  hmm, sounds promising.  the back room linoleum is solid, but the kitchen has some bad spots.  then i discovered these wonderful create-your-own-rugs at pottery barn where i could order the perfect size rug to cover the problem area.  it's like a fashionable and expensive band-aid that looks intentional. 
i'll take it.

we bought the supplies to clean the linoleum really well, and plan to paint it sometime next month.  (lots of busy weekends coming up beforehand).  the only remaining problem was this crappy uneven tile laying in the half bath.
so i ripped it up. 
i have to be honest, it wasn't properly installed so basically i just picked it up because it was just laying there.  but that's besides the point.  then while i was vacuuming i noticed that there was some water damage to the concrete that was under the tile.  i noticed this because my vacuum sucked up half of the concrete.  weird.  so there was kind of this big hole in the bathroom floor.  odd.  so i just mixed up some concrete filler and filled it in.  no biggie. 
also, i totally used my pyrex measuring cups to measure out the filler. 
i may or may not have been wearing an apron.

now that i'm feeling very accomplished and slightly out of breath from all of that horn tooting, i'll bid you farewell.  hope you're having a fabulous spring!  i will keep you up to date on all floor changes as they happen.  xo!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

the world is coming to an end.

i'm just going to get straight to the point.

i bought a one piece swimsuit.

i'll pause and allow you to collect yourself and clean up that coffee you just spewed all over your computer.

better? alright.

so you're probably thinking one of two things.

one-
wow, one piece bathing suit, eh? meg really let herself go.  surrendered to the mom frump.  threw in the towel.  buh bye bikini babe.  poor billy. 
or,
two-
meg is so skinny, why would she buy a one piece bathing suit?  she could totally still wear a two piece! (thank you number two people).

okay, so here's how my train of thought went before the big purchase.

i keep seeing one piece bathing suits EVERYWHERE this season.  i mean everywhere.  they are so en vogue!  and i really felt like trying something stylish and new.  i knew in the back of my mind that billy would yell at me and tell me i was dressing like a mennonite (he says this every time i wear a turtleneck... but they're so warm!), but i just couldn't help myself.  

aside from fashion purposes, of course i had to think of the practicality.  anyone who comes to the beach at figure 8 knows that we're always eating.  and drinking.  always.  once you think you can't possibly fit another beer in your belly, skippop force feeds you a cheeseburger.  so there's the constant battle of sucking it in while sucking it in.

then there's the baby factor, and since finn is so mobile now i knew that my summer beach time would not just be spent laying out, but also include lots of bending down and leaning over to attend to him.  even skinny girls get those tummy rolls when they're hunched over to pick up a toddler, mmkay?

i've also been feeling conflicted about being a mom now and wearing my same little bikinis, like maybe i'm trying too hard or look trashy or i just need to grow up a little?  i don't know, i think this is my own personal torment. 

so the verdict was in.  i was going to order a one piece bathing suit.  i found one that i really liked on jcrew.com.  it was a risk.  i was either going to look cute or completely disfigured.  i ordered it and then immediately facebooked my friend steph for moral support. ("please tell me i haven't given up!") she agreed that it was a cute choice and that she might also be in the market for a one piece (gasp!)

it came in the mail yesterday and i put it on in a dark corner when billy got home like he was going to throw paint at me as soon as he saw it or something.  i was pretty skeptical, but once i got it on i really liked it!  it's like a romper bathing suit.  my vote is fashionable, cute, and classy.  not giving up.

to my complete and utter shock, billy really liked it too!  yess!




so it's official, i've gone to the dark side.  :)

(here's the link to the swimsuit)

XO

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

anniversary!

friday is my parents 28th wedding anniversary. 
my 28th birthday is to follow two months later.  yep, you did that math right!

my parents marriage is one of the most inspiring marriages i have ever come across.  not because they are my parents, but because their marriage is very imperfect.  it is not without struggles.  in fact, it is riddled with them. 

having a baby two months out of the gate (hi guys!) can break any marriage quickly, i'm sure.  but aside from that challenge, my parents are probably two of the most different personalities you might ever come across.  which i believe is extremely challenging on a daily basis.  they are like black and white.  they are the definition of opposites attract.

my sister and i like to compare them to their dogs, honee bear and tink.  honee bear is a pomeranian that is the happiest dog you may ever meet.  she is always over the moon to see you.  she loves everyone deeply and truly and she shows them.  she is a little high strung.  she is the dog version of my mom.  tinkerbell is a very lazy chihuahua.  she is loving and sweet, but you have to get to know her.  she would be completely content to do nothing but sit on the couch in a blanket all day eating some snacks.  she is the dog version of my dad.  tinkerbell and honee are nothing alike, but for some reason they are inseparable.  they get very anxious without each other.  which is weird, because when they're together they almost never interact.  they're just used to being in close proximity.  they need that.

my parents' marriage is not just inspiring to me just because i find hilarious similarities in their relationship and their pets.  it's inspiring because i see that they have to work on it every day.  any person in a relationship can tell you that it takes work.  it really really does.  you don't just magically come to a happy place after a certain amount of time and then get to sit back and put your feet up.  you have to decide to be married and to love each other every day.  sometimes marriage can feel very lonely.  sometimes marriage can feel very stifling.  sometimes marriage can make you feel so lucky and happy and wonderful.  sometimes it can make you feel like crap.  my parents live these ups and downs.  they are visible to me.  they don't constantly bicker, but they also don't constantly kiss each other.  theirs is a real relationship. 


they are encouraging to me, because i can see that despite their extreme differences and their highs and lows, every day for the past 28 years they have chosen to be together.  that's what counts.  it is not always an easy choice, i'm sure.  but it has always been their choice, and for that i am grateful.  they are so good for each other and really balance each other out, even though they don't always see that.  they are brave for tolerating each other for so long.  and it's because deep down, i know that they love each other so very deeply.  i am glad that i am a little bit of both of them.  and i'm lucky that they're mandy and my parents.  happy anniversary, kids!

Monday, March 19, 2012

hanging wash.

many people know and love my husband's mother, whom i affectionately refer to as mumpeg.

she is probably known best for giving accidentally hilarious gifts.  such as gardening gnome t-shirts at christmas in which the gnome, much to mumpeg's horror and billy's glee, was secretly giving the finger.  and hand lotion in easter baskets one year that turned out to actually not be hand lotion at all but rather, "personal" lubricant.  i believe a horrified pre-pubescent john mousseau was the one who made this discovery.

mumpeg is many things, including one of the truly sweetest and most kind hearted people i have ever met.  most of you know this.  but most of you probably don't know that mumpeg is also an excellent laundress. 

growing up in a large family, mumpeg's childhood "job" (she tells me) was always the laundry, or as she calls it, the wash.  it was a job that she took pride in as a little girl, and that pride and diligence has stuck with her for all of these years.  skippop, billy's dad, is a shining example of her laundering abilities, as i am certain he has been covering the same handful of old t-shirts in motor oil on an almost daily basis for the last 30 years, and they are shockingly not much worse for the wear.

when billy and i were living at macleod's, i got to witness mumpeg's laundry dedication often.  she is known for letting clothes "soak" for days.  but she is also known for hanging wash outside whenever she gets the opportunity.  she once told me that hanging wash was her "therapy".   you will find a full clothesline in her backyard on a frigid but sunny afternoon in the middle of december, or a warm summer morning.  i have often seen her running out for her wash in the middle of surprise rain showers, and she has gotten into full on fist fights with tucker over pairs of boxer shorts.  (tucker loves to un-hang wash just about as much as mumpeg loves to hang it.)

i was certain that mumpeg's pride in hanging wash came mostly from being extremely earth friendly.  (she WILL go through your trash to make sure you didn't miss anything recyclable.)  hanging your laundry outside to dry obviously saves on the electric bill, and keeps your dryer from heating up your house in the summer.  so, i have always admired her for being so "green".  i have also always admired the old fashioned feel-goods that seem to come with hanging wash.  mumpeg still refuses to hang wash on sundays (a big no-no to our amish neighbors especially), and she practically gets stars in her eyes when she talks about the way clothes smells when they come in fresh off the line.  everyone knows that i'm a sucker for anything old fashioned, so for that reason, and in order to carry on mumpeg's tradition, i have always wanted to hang wash too.

the trouble with hanging wash is that it takes some time.  it's much quicker to toss everything into the dryer.  you can do it with your eyes closed and a baby on your hip.  i often wondered, almost critically, why mumpeg insisted on spending entire afternoons hanging wash on the line when her kitchen was full of unpacked suitcases and her dining room table stacked with unfinished paperwork.  it seemed almost irresponsible.  for that reason, it took me a long time to get around to hanging wash at our house.  it took me until today, in fact.  the house was somewhat in order, finn had gone down for a late nap, and the sunny afternoon was practically begging for billy's undershirts.  i figured it was as good a time as any.

i started hanging, and my oh my.  all of these years i thought mumpeg was hanging wash to save energy, and i finally realized that it is so much more than that.  hanging your clothes on the line forces you to stop.  it forces you to quit rushing from task to task, from all of those busy little odds and ends that fill up your day so quickly.  i so often hurry from chore to chore, scratching off lines on my to-do list, until the next thing i know the sun has set, and another day is lost.  this afternoon, while pulling billy's sweet smelling white v-necks from my laundry basket and clipping them to the line, i had a few minutes to slow down.  i had some time to pray.  i had time to appreciate so much that i forget to appreciate.  and i thought a lot about mumpeg, who lost her brother yesterday morning and is traveling to new york for his viewing today.  hanging the wash today made me appreciate and respect her in a whole new way.  she raised five children and managed an enormous household, yet she always always took the time to hang her wash.  i want to be that kind of mother.  i want to be that kind of woman. 



one day a few weeks ago, billy told me that one of his favorite feelings is when he opens up his top dresser drawer and sees a fresh stack of clean white v necks.  he appreciates funny little things like that, and that's one of the things i love most about him. 
he gets it from his mom.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

more party pics.

here are some more first birthday shots, courtesy of our good friend dave.

he hasn't been taking pictures for long, but we think he's got a real knack for it!

also, lucky for you, he caught the whole finn birthday candle fail on film. 
i swear, the whole happy birthday song went great, he didn't even look interested in the candle, and then i paused before i blew it out (allowing for more photo op time) and wham, fire to the fingers.  bahh. 

anyway, thanks for the awesome pictures, dave!  i'm sure finn will be holding these over my head for years to come.








Monday, March 12, 2012

one!

finn's first birthday was on saturday!

i mentioned before (in the post about his invitations) that we aren't into the whole big first birthday party trend, so we kept it low key.  the grandparents came over, finn's great grandma nan, and billy's two sisters with some of their family.  we wrote firm "no gift" instructions on his invitations, and everyone brought him a present.  tsk tsk!

we had a little lunch time party and decide to lay out a spread of finn approved foods.  we had mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, mini chicken salad sandwiches, fruit salad, chips, deviled eggs, and a veggie tray.  finn loves all of these foods.  i also made cupcakes, but finn didn't care too much about his.  we had birch beer for the cousins and bloodys and mimosas for the grown ups.  they seemed to be a hit.

finn was extremely disinterested and slightly overwhelmed with all of the food and family.   for this reason i'm glad we didn't have more friends over.  he was pretty glassy eyed throughout much of his party, and spent half the time playing by himself in the great room, away from the crowd, while i chatted with his cousin christopher.  it was only after everyone left that he seemed to come around.  he opened exactly one present, and ate exactly one bite of cupcake, each while looking at me like "can i be done now?" something tells me he'll get better at this birthday thing with practice ;)

i think i aided to his birthday distaste by not blowing his birthday candle out for him in time, so he took matters into his own hands.  literally.  i think the collective gasp surrounded by everyone's look of horror was just as terrifying to him as his burning finger, but regardless it put a little damper on his spirits.  (his finger was fine, and after a little breather outside he was too).  once most everyone left and he was feeling better, he did grace us with his first steps.  a fun milestone for a first birthday party.  he took three or four steps on his own a few times.  the first time he did it on accident, walking from his grandma towards me.  i don't think he realized what he was doing.  after that he did it with prompting.  both sets of grandparents got to see it, and they were just tickled.

our friends dave and lauren came by to wish finn a happy birthday too, and fortunately for us dave is an excellent photographer.  he snapped some great shots of finn's special day. i can't wait to share those later this week.  in the meantime, here are some iphone shots for you to enjoy.

the obligatory homemade birthday banner.

book balloon weights.

lay one on me!

carnations, mums, and pom poms.  inexpensive, underrated.

proud.

fun colors.

sleepy.

kitchen.

favors.
birthday boy.

we love you, sweet finn baby.  happy birthday!

Friday, March 9, 2012

the breastfeeding blog.

after almost exactly one year, i am happy to report that my boobs have officially retired.  i wish i could send them on a vacation to hawaii to recover and get back to their jolly little selves.  they have served us well, and are not too much worse for the wear.  good job, boobs.

i decided to write down some thoughts on our personal experience with breastfeeding, for my own reflection purposes, and perhaps to be of some use to other moms or moms to be.  if you are not interested in breastfeeding, the thought of bodily fluids grosses you out, or you are my dad, then you should probably skip this one.  it's also a little wordy, so i apologize.  i was trying to be informative.

before i get into my personal experience, i would like to preface this by saying that i resist the idea that by breastfeeding for a certain amount of time you get a big "good mom" badge and the right to walk around like a war hero.  if you breastfeed for too short of time then we think you're a bad mom, if you breastfeed for too long of time then we think you're a bad mom... and a weirdo hippie.  i wish we wouldn't put these labels on ourselves or others.  i think breastfeeding is a very special way to bond with your baby, and it can be very cost effective, convenient, healthy, and enjoyable.  but let's be honest, most of us were raised on formula, and formula babies are just as happy and healthy as the next one.  even though finn was breastfed and isn't in daycare, he still got a ton of ear infections and as many colds as the next kid.  if you are breastfeeding or hoping to breastfeed, be gentle with yourself.  no mother should feel guilty because she has to supplement with formula or can't breastfeed as long as she originally intended.  on the flip side of that, don't feel guilty if you're still nursing your healthy one year old.  who the shit cares?  do what's best for your family and be proud of it.

ok, now that i got that off my chest (pun intended) i will tell you about our experience with breastfeeding:

finn took to the boob like a champ straight out of the gate.  we were very fortunate in that respect.  i never had any problems with getting him to latch on.  i look at this as a little bonus prize for being pregnant for 42 weeks. we were in the hospital for four days because of my c-section, and during those four days i nursed him constantly.  like 45 minutes on 45 minutes off.  that little sucker liked to suck.  i just let him go for it.  they give you a hard time in the hospital about the baby having enough pee diapers and having a bowel movement, and they threatened me a couple of times saying if he didn't have x number of diapers wet by x amount of time then we would have to give him formula.  i just ignored them and kept at it and all was well.  my milk came in on day five, after we got home.  it felt like my boobs had the flu.  they were achy and hot.  that only lasted a few days for me.  i didn't have any scary problems like cracked nipples or bleeding or anything like that.  some nurses told me that the best thing for sore boobs in the beginning is air, so that's pretty much what i did.  free boobin'.  none of the goopy stuff.  but those lansinoh soothies patches are handy in the beginning, they feel cool and i used them a couple of times.

i went back to work three days a week when finn was just four weeks old.  i meant to go back when he was six weeks old, but i started my time off on my due date, and since finn was two weeks late... you get the idea.  so because of going back so soon, i had to think about pumping really early on.  some people love pumping, some people hate pumping.  i hated it in the beginning, and then i learned to love it.  the hardest part is getting enough milk for that first day at work.  you're trying to juggle feeding your baby regularly plus you have to magically produce a whole extra day's worth of bottles.  it took about a week for me to get enough together for one day.  it was trying.  i found that pumping in the late evening or even the middle of the night was the most productive time for me.  i really had to focus on relaxing.  looking at pictures of finn on my phone and imagining running water helped a lot.  i also highly recommend using a double pump.

billy gave finn a bottle of pumped milk for the first time when he was three weeks old.  this is a bit earlier than most professionals recommend giving a breastfed baby a bottle because of the potential problem of nipple confusion, but since i was going back to work at four weeks i wanted to make sure he had some time to get the hang of it.  he took to it no problem, and i had no trouble getting him to nurse as usual despite having had a bottle.  it was fine.  don't let the nipple confusion people freak you out.  babies are smart.

after getting started, our breastfeeding routine went something like this:  i nursed finn 100% of the time sundays through wednesdays.  on thursdays, fridays, and saturdays while i was at work i would send finn to his babysitter's (or home with billy) with enough pumped milk to last him the day.  he would have bottles with the babysitter and then when i picked him up he would return to the regular breastfeeding routine.  while i was at work i had to pump every 2.5 or 3 hours.  luckily i had someone with me helping at the store often, so i could jump back into the fitting room and pump real quick.  when there wasn't someone there working with me sometimes i had to lock the shop door and put a "back in 5 minutes" sign up.  and honestly, i know some people have to spend a long time pumping, but once i got the hang of it it only took me exactly 7 minutes to pump a full bottle for finn.  (you have to really play with the settings on your pump for a bit so it feels most like your baby.  it's tough at first but stick with it.)  all the milk i pumped on a thursday at work would end up being enough to send with finn on friday, and so forth.  it worked out perfectly.

when finn was about 9 1/2 months old he started showing signs of weaning.  this was around christmas time.  he had just recovered from his ear tube surgery and he was finally feeling great and really starting to get moving.  now when i sat down to nurse him he would push me away, crane his neck around to look and see everything, etc.  he was starting to get more mobile and became less interested in the boob.  this was very frustrating to me, because there's no real "turning off" the boob faucet once it gets going.  finn would start to nurse, then decide he wasn't interested and i would be left feeling highly uncomfortable and drenched down to my waist.  often times when this would happen i would have to pump to relieve myself.  then, when finn would decide he actually wanted to pay attention and eat 30 minutes later, i wouldn't have any milk left because i had just pumped, and i would give him the pumped milk in a bottle.  this is how the whole breast to bottle transition happened for us. finn seemed to prefer having a bottle during the day time at this age, i guess because he wanted more freedom to explore.  he still liked nursing before bed and when he woke up from naps... in other words, when he was more sleepy and subdued and less busy with discovering.

finn's pediatrician told us that we could start introducing organic whole milk at ten months of age. i did this slowly, first mixing it with his food, and then eventually giving him a bottle of milk.  he had digestive troubles right off the bat.  it made him very gassy and uncomfortable.  we tried goat's milk and that was a lot easier for him to digest, but still not great.  it is also very expensive around here.  while we were going through this milk process my body kind of slowed down on the production side.  things also started getting busier at work and i had less time to go to the back to pump.  i eventually went from pumping 2 or 3 times a shift to once a shift.  at ten months old i bought my first can of formula (earth's best organic) and started supplementing with that.  finn does really well on this formula and it doesn't bother him at all the way the straight cow's or even goat's milk did. this transition felt natural to both finn and i, and i am certain it was the right time and right decision for both of us.  it was a little step down from the dependency on each other that came with breastfeeding. 

over the next two months the weaning process would be slow and gradual and this was very helpful to me especially, and the adjustment my body had to make.  we started using formula half the time and then nursing the other half of the time. finn would have a bottle before both naps and at bedtime, and nurse occasionally upon waking up from naps and around 11:30 at night.   i am convinced that these little nursing sessions were more for me than for him.  wednesday night, march 7th, was the last time i nursed finn.  over the past couple of days he has taken a little bit bigger bottles during the day (8 oz instead of his usual 6) and has slept through the night.  my job here is done!  finn is officially weaned.

last week i tried to switch him to milk again (organic 2% this time) but he still is having some trouble, although not as bad as with the whole milk. so we are sticking with the formula a while longer. formula is expensive, and for this reason i am very grateful that we had success with breastfeeding for as long as we did.  i'm thinking that in the next couple of months we can scale back on the bottles and switch back to milk, but i'm going to give him a little bit more time. 

so those are the specifics of our experience.

i know, this is already so long winded, but for the sake of my own mental clarity i have some more reflections:

in the beginning of breastfeeding, whenever finn made a whimper or a cry i pretty much assumed he was hungry and tried to nurse him.  in hindsight, i believe this was an error on my part.  i feel like if i had attempted other things first, like swaddling or rocking or a change in position, or even waiting a few minutes to see if he would settle back in on his own, that getting on more of a predictable feeding schedule would have happened more naturally and easily.  it's very easy to solve every problem with a boob when you're breastfeeding.  easy, but not necessarily best.

in general, i don't think that breastfeeding is necessarily easier or harder than formula feeding.  it has it's own challenges and perks.  it can also be costly to breastfeed if you buy a brand new $250 breast pump, a bunch of fancy nursing covers, nursing bras, disposable breast pads, etc.  luckily, i was lent a pump by a friend, i never wore a nursing bra (i don't think they're really necessary), and i used reusable cotton breast pads. i do think that breastfeeding was more personally gratifying than formula feeding, and it helped me bond with finn.  it also helped me lose all of my baby weight in the first three months, but that is not true for everyone.  a lot of people hold on to ten extra pounds just because of breastfeeding. 

in the beginning i heard a lot of people say that it was hard or even silly to breastfeed because then billy couldn't help with night feedings and i would have to bear the brunt of these on my own.  i found this to be extremely untrue.  billy was my biggest supporter with breastfeeding and he was always a tremendous help.  for night feedings i always stayed in bed and billy would go get the baby, bring him to me, and then bring him back to bed when he was done eating.  i did almost nothing.  thanks, honey!

i hope that some of you found some of this to be helpful or somewhat informative, and not just extremely long and wordy.  thanks for bearing with me as i looked back on the past year of nursing finn.  it was a wonderful experience for me, and i feel very happy and blessed that we had such success.  i also hope that if you are a mom or mom to be, that you feel proud of yourself no matter what your baby feeding journey is like. 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

pretty little pictures vol.2

i haven't really been in a blog writing mood lately.  we are still working on the kitchen in our spare time and it is tapping all of my creative juices.  i have been in a picture taking mood, however.  i like to take pictures around the house of things just the way they happen to end up.  there is so much beauty in the every day.

i am working on a breastfeeding blog, so stay tuned for that.  finn is almost weaned and i wanted to share our personal experience with breastfeeding this past year, and also some of my general feelings on the subject.

in the meantime, here are some more pretty little pictures...

plaids.

aloe.

love.

(thanks, pip.)

self-portrait.

often.

oh, tuck.

free weights.

morning coffee.

love, billy.

Monday, March 5, 2012

pretty little pictures.

favorite cowboy boots in the hallway.

bedspread.

my bedside table.

favorite.

kitchen salt.

a billy book.

apple and cheese quesadillas before the cheese.

zonked with crusty froyo face.

a card for skippop.

hope everyone had a pretty little weekend! <3