here comes a super special blog on all of my weight loss secrets... FINALLY REVEALED!
do you want to lose weight but hate going to the gym?
are you tired of the same old work out videos?
do you fall asleep in the middle of your monotonous yoga class?
are you running every day but still not seeing results?
I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION!
if you want a MAXIMUM CALORIE BURN all you need is:
1) one very large, dirty, unairconditioned house, in the middle of a 100 degree afternoon
2) one twenty pound baby strapped to your chest
3) a vacuum cleaner.
commence to vacuuming 3200 square feet. sweet, dirty, unairconditioned feet.
with the twenty pound baby.
what's that you say?
you're unlucky enough to have an airconditioned house?
that's sad for you.
what else?
you don't plan on popping out a twenty pound baby anytime soon?
hmmm....
WELL NOT TO WORRY!
TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!
with this special offer, you can sign up to lose all the LB's you want at NO COST TO YOU!
yes, that's right!
drumroll please....
you can use my house!!!!
you can use my vacuum cleaner!!!!
and you can even borrow my baby!!!!
i fully guarantee you will see results!
but wait!
if you act now, i will throw in a weight loss BONUS!
that's right!
when you finish your babywearinghousevacuumingin100degrees workout, when you go to the kitchen to get a snack, i'll throw in a fussy baby for FREE!
i guarantee that baby will block your hand from reaching those potato chips, and that's when you'll start seeing real results!
ACT NOW PEOPLE!
so i can go eat a flippin' cheeseburger.
4 comments:
Was again you have me in stitches. You are hilarious and skinny. love you and the 20 pounder.
and this writing..believe me, is what will keep your sanity too:) Great post and although it was hilarious, the funniest part is it is soooo true! I always enjoy your blog.
Hahaha I will never again complain about cleaning my little house! You are a rockstar.
Great job! All your hard work is paying off!!
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