fathers day 2013

there are times throughout your life when you are faced with really big decisions. 

in my life, i have always really consciously felt the weight of my choices.  i've felt a shift in my path.  i've known that my next step would heavily impact the course of my life. 

a couple of months after billy and i started dating, i felt it.  i knew he was going to change my life forever.  and i felt it when i decided to marry him.  and i felt it when he looked into my eyes after he held our finn for the very first time.

marriage is a choice you make together every day, and every day i am reminded that i am making the right one.  my husband is truly the greatest man i've ever known.

i always knew it.  but seeing him as a dad proves it.  he was born for it.  he is an amazing father.

there are at least three mornings a week where he shrugs his shoulders, says "i'll just catch the late train", throws his briefcase off of his shoulder, and allows finn to drag him into the music room.  there he picks up his guitar and pops out a few tunes- to the sheer delight of our dancing and giggling toddler.  he knows there will be a pile of emails waiting for him when he makes it into the city, but he'd rather play catch up all morning than leave finn without a song.

when he comes home from work, they literally run to each other.  i look at finn's face, at the unbridled glee, and think i've never seen anyone so happy. until i look at billy's face and see the exact expression, mirrored.  they laugh and hug and hold eachothers necks like they've been separated for months.  and i get to see it every day.

he rarely stays late at work.  he misses lots of fancy dinners and events.  instead, he hurries home on the crowded rush hour train so that he can make it in time for family dinner and bedtime.  it's not unlikely for the light to still be on in his home office at 2 a.m.  but it's worth it for him, because he got to see finn before he went to sleep.

he went to the u.s. open practice rounds this week, and when he came home the thing he was most excited to tell me about was how one of the players had his young son with down syndrome out on the course with him.  seriously, it's the only thing he talked about.  how happy that little boy was to be there, and how great it was that the players got to bring their kids out during the practice rounds. he made it home in time for dinner.  and i thought about the other husbands that were still at the merion golf course, half drunk in the merchandise tents, and i felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  i made a good choice.

i think about our boys, and i know how truly fortunate they are to have billy for their dad.  because of him, they will grow up to be good men.  maybe because of  me they will be well fed and have clean sheets and know how to love really hard. but because of billy, they will be good. 

if you asked him, he would probably say that he is the lucky one.  but the boys and i know that we're the real winners here.  we landed ourselves one great guy. 

happy fathers day, honey.  we love you.