vulnerability.

there is a specific time of day in which i feel extremely vulnerable.
i am willing to bet that this is true across the board for the typical modern american housewife.
and it may surprise you. 
but let me tell you, this time of day is scary.

it's the time of day when i blow dry my hair.

don't laugh.  you know you've experienced it!
when you're blow drying your hair, you can literally hear nothing.
but at the same time, your hair dryer seems to make the exact same noise as 800 other things that you are almost certain you could be hearing.
it's extremely nerve wracking.

ok, my hair is wet, the baby is napping, time to blow dry my hair.
gulp.
vrrrooooooooshhhhhh
doot doot dooo... oh my god. what's that noise. the baby is up already! oh my gosh he's wailing!
turn off hair dryer.
run to baby's room.
baby is sleeping.
you see imaginary sleep cartoon bubble over baby's head that reads "mom's losing it."
back to business.
vrrroooooooooshhhhhh
hmmm hmm... what the!? did someone just knock on the door? i'm not expecting anyone! what the heck!
turn off hair dryer.
run to window.
no one is outside.  ok, fine. must have been the dog or something.
vrrrroooooooooshhhhhh
sshshhhhhhfffrooooooooo
vrrrrooooooooooo...
oh my god!
did someone just land on the roof? what was that thumping noise??!?!!
turn off hair dryer.
nothing.
okay i'm just hearing things, probably just the wind.
ssssshhrrrrrroooooooooooo
vrrrroooooshhhhhhh
omg is that a gospel choir in the kitchen!? it literally sounds like people are singing downstairs.
click.
nothing.
vrrooooooooooo...
oh my god seriously the baby is seriously awake this time what the heck i'm never going to be able to dry my stupid hair!!
click.
baby still sleeping.
damn it!

this continues in agony for the entire 20 minutes it takes to dry my hair.  and there is no "hurry up and dry your hair"  your hair just dries in the amount of time it takes for it to dry, you can't hurry it up. 

so when you're home alone, highly anxiety inducing.

but when you're NOT home alone, it's almost worse.

because let's not forget, that while you can't hear anything while you're blow drying your hair, it doesn't mean nobody else can't.  i know i'm not the only one who's found this out the hard way.

vrrorooooooosshhhhhhshhroooooo
shrrrooooooooo
*toot*
vrrroooooooooooshhhhh
hmm i'm all good, didn't hear a thing....
vrrrooooooooo...
< husband has stopped whatever he was doing and is staring blankly at you from across the room >
ehhhh....