vulnerability.

there is a specific time of day in which i feel extremely vulnerable.
i am willing to bet that this is true across the board for the typical modern american housewife.
and it may surprise you. 
but let me tell you, this time of day is scary.

it's the time of day when i blow dry my hair.

don't laugh.  you know you've experienced it!
when you're blow drying your hair, you can literally hear nothing.
but at the same time, your hair dryer seems to make the exact same noise as 800 other things that you are almost certain you could be hearing.
it's extremely nerve wracking.

ok, my hair is wet, the baby is napping, time to blow dry my hair.
gulp.
vrrrooooooooshhhhhh
doot doot dooo... oh my god. what's that noise. the baby is up already! oh my gosh he's wailing!
turn off hair dryer.
run to baby's room.
baby is sleeping.
you see imaginary sleep cartoon bubble over baby's head that reads "mom's losing it."
back to business.
vrrroooooooooshhhhhh
hmmm hmm... what the!? did someone just knock on the door? i'm not expecting anyone! what the heck!
turn off hair dryer.
run to window.
no one is outside.  ok, fine. must have been the dog or something.
vrrrroooooooooshhhhhh
sshshhhhhhfffrooooooooo
vrrrrooooooooooo...
oh my god!
did someone just land on the roof? what was that thumping noise??!?!!
turn off hair dryer.
nothing.
okay i'm just hearing things, probably just the wind.
ssssshhrrrrrroooooooooooo
vrrrroooooshhhhhhh
omg is that a gospel choir in the kitchen!? it literally sounds like people are singing downstairs.
click.
nothing.
vrrooooooooooo...
oh my god seriously the baby is seriously awake this time what the heck i'm never going to be able to dry my stupid hair!!
click.
baby still sleeping.
damn it!

this continues in agony for the entire 20 minutes it takes to dry my hair.  and there is no "hurry up and dry your hair"  your hair just dries in the amount of time it takes for it to dry, you can't hurry it up. 

so when you're home alone, highly anxiety inducing.

but when you're NOT home alone, it's almost worse.

because let's not forget, that while you can't hear anything while you're blow drying your hair, it doesn't mean nobody else can't.  i know i'm not the only one who's found this out the hard way.

vrrorooooooosshhhhhhshhroooooo
shrrrooooooooo
*toot*
vrrroooooooooooshhhhh
hmm i'm all good, didn't hear a thing....
vrrrooooooooo...
< husband has stopped whatever he was doing and is staring blankly at you from across the room >
ehhhh....

pretty little pictures! vol. 4

where have i been? i'll tell you where.  in the stupid yard.  now that the weather is nice, finn's nap time can no longer be spent blogging or swiffering the hardwoods.  speaking of which, my house is filthy.  i'm certain that people with immaculate yards have disgusting interiors.  lord does it eat up your day out there.  i know you've missed the cloth diaper tutorials and other mostly meaningless ramblings.  don't lie, you have.  okay, you probably haven't.  but here are some pretty little pictures anyway.  gosh, i'm a terrible gardener.  and i desperately need a mani/pedi.  later, kids!

it's a classic.  finn hasn't realized this yet.  i follow him around with it.

tough life.

hoping the sun will help his hair grow?

dinnertime dranks.

yes, i actually use my frye boots for legitimate purposes.

handmade birdhouse, courtesy of life's patina! (my sis-in-law)
they lined the aisle at our wedding.  proud to have one
in our home now!

finn's preferred nighttime book, as well as mine.

upstairs hall.

tomato patch.

baby snapping turtle, courtesy of dave peirce. 
affectionately and drunkenly named thomas kinkade.  i don't remember why.

pray for those tomatoes.
xo
m

schizophrenic blog post.

wow, i haven't written a blog post in a while!

i think it's because i'm kind of all over the place right now.  so here's a blog about that. 

we're in the middle of a million different projects outside, which i kind of work on in sporadic order.  like, i started weeding the side patio, and then i discovered the more i weeded the more stones appeared.

the stones used to kind of stop where the wall does.

 and so i got a shovel and started digging up grass, and kept finding more stones.  there's an entire secret underground stone pathway system apparently that goes around our entire yard.

but let me tell you, it's a pain in the rear end to dig those suckers up.  good grief.  so, what i mean is, come over if you want.

i've been cooking a lot lately so that i can distract myself from other, larger jobs.  like the stones.  and the kitchen floors.  sometimes it's good to have distractions.  i recommend them in the form of flour's famous banana bread.  (except sub chocolate chips for the walnuts).  this one crucial change gives me the right to call it meg's famous banana bread.  i think.  probably not.

 
i bought a new pair of pants on clearance from urban outfitters.  they're bellbottoms.  i'm kind of obsessed with them.  they were a cool coral color.  then i washed them in hot water to get them to shrink before i got them hemmed, and i turned them this gay salmon color. you know, that color douchey prepsters wear to brunch at the club.  it's okay though.  i think the extremely high waist might cancel out the douche factor though.  oh, and now all of my dishtowels are pink.

i was taking a video of finn yesterday while he was trying to take a poo.  and i realized i kind of have this weird thing with taking videos of finn while he's trying to take a poo.  for some reason it's hilarious to me.  then i realized, even worse, that i literally have no other videos of him.  his entire first year is documented by craps.  seriously.  it's simultaneously funny and sad.  billy and i often wish that adults would poo in their pants the way finn does though.  mostly because it would make life hilarious.  like if your boss walked over to your cubicle to ask you for something, and then in the middle of talking he started getting this distracted look on his face, but he kept talking, and then he kind of paused, and then he kind of leaned over and put his hand on your desk for support.  and then he kept trying to talk but had to kind of grunt in between every few words.  that's what happens when finn poops.  he still tries to keep doing what he had set out to do before the poo snuck up on him.  it's really quite remarkable.  maybe one day, like oh say, his wedding day, i'll create a video montage.  it would be amazing.  i realize i talk a lot about poo on this blog.  i'm sorry about that.  here's a pretty picture.

 

that's all for now.  i'll write something more focused later. bye!