random sleep deprived thoughts.

i'm at work today.
i don't know how i'm standing upright.
but i somehow managed to get here, albeit without my key, and then somehow managed to break in the back door with my credit card.
oh the desperation.

i never managed to take pictures of the house yesterday, but kind of on purpose because i want to plant some flowers where the yews once were because it's looking a little... sad.
the yews made the house look unkempt and overgrown but now without them the house just looks kind of abandoned or barren or something.  it needs mulch and flowers.  this weekend.

so instead, here are some random facts about being a new mom to a little boy:

or, i should call it, things that surprise me:

1) perfectly symmetrical boobs don't stay that way when you're breastfeeding.  if my boobs were mcdonalds meals, one would be a kids four piece nugget and one would be a big mac value meal.  maybe even with a shake.  this is extremely annoying to someone who wants everything to be "even". 

2) i constantly check finn's diaper to see if he pooped and think "dear god! what is that! what is in there!?"
oh.
balls.
those are balls in there.
little boys have those.
*sigh of relief that my baby didn't poop out a pink bag of nickels*

3) soft spots have a pulse. it's creepy looking.

4) if there is lint anywhere in our house, it will inevitably end up between our baby's toes.  i don't know how this happens. but i no longer have to sticky roll my pants before i leave the house, i just rub finn's feet over them.

5) i used to think i would be a strict parent.  very practical.  no nonsense.  i now realize that when you have a baby, you will do anything in the world to keep him from crying.  anything.  like running out of the shower soaking wet with only one leg shaved and covered in shampoo.  only to realize that your baby wasn't crying, you're just losing your mind.

6) sometimes i catch myself thinking "oh it's just poop."
and then i'm like just poop? what's worse to have on you than poop? not much.

7) i thought leaving finn at the babysitter's would get easier and easier but it just gets harder and harder.  he's cute even when i'm sleep deprived.  when he's up in the middle of the night and he passes out mid gulp with a smile on his face, i can't be mad at him.  and most of the time i can be very mad at anyone depriving me of sleep.

8) everyone said i would miss being pregnant.  at 42 weeks, i thought everyone was crazy.
i miss being pregnant.

9) nothing is embarrassing anymore.  things stopped being embarrassing after a 40 year old indian man who was introduced to me as some kind of "student" held one of my legs while i was pushing.  he had obviously never seen a vagina before.  since then, pretty much nothing makes me blush.  including yesterday, when a really hot tree removal dude caught me singing "this is the day the lord has made" into a stroller.

10) people tell you breastfeeding is less expensive than formula feeding.  i don't think this is true.  making boob food gives you the appetite of cookie monster.  i eat a lot of groceries.

that's it.  i made it to ten surprising things.  even though basically everything about being a new mom is surprising.  but there's ten. ta da! the end.

wish me luck on picture taking and flower planting this weekend! xo