swim baby swim

one evening last week we got the chance to enjoy steve and lindsay's pool!

it was finn's first time fully immersed in water like that, and he really liked it!

he was a little hesitant at first... his eyes were as big as saucers!  but after a few minutes he really relaxed and seemed to enjoy himself.

billy snapped some pictures on my iphone, and they turned out really cool because steve and lindsay have these awesome pool lights that change color under water.  here's a few of them to check out. enjoy!

the obligatory beach baby buttcrack.

nothing is more precious than watching your baby meet the beach for the first time!

it's one of those magical moments you look forward to your whole life.

he was absolutely fascinated.

figure 8 island has always been a special place for billy and i...

we walked the beach together in our early days of dating...

billy proposed to me on the beach...

we've walked the beach as a married couple...

and this past week we got to be there with our little boy.

on the beach as a little family!

it was a really special full circle moment.

finn was great about playing in the water and the sand.

he also LOVED getting the attention of all 10 of his boy cousins who were there with us!

i looked on in horror as the boys buried themselves in sand and threw water at eachother and screamed and fearlessly dove through the waves, and treasured being able to scoop finn up and clean him off and snuggle him to sleep.  i know these days are numbered!

ty is already trying to recruit him into the murphy boy madness!

hey, baby.

 

this morning i woke up to the happiest baby ever.

he changes so much every day that each morning is like waking up to a new kid.

this morning he woke up cooing and "talking", kicking and pushing off of me, and smiling.

his favorite things right now, at 6 and a half weeks, are sleeping on his daddy, eating, and singing.

he loves music. 

and being naked.

(who doesn't?)

he also loves being carried over my shoulder so he can look around at everything.

he's becoming a pretty even tempered little guy.

he was so good at the shop with me last week.  

he really only fusses if he's hungry or has a gas bubble or is just about to fall asleep.

he doesn't like to go to sleep by himself, but he will.

yesterday he laid in his cradle and looked around happily while i vacuumed for about 20 minutes.

then he fell asleep in our bed while i was getting dressed.

he'll nap by himself in his swing or in the big chair with wooly bully, 

but at night he's still in bed with us.

(something billy and i said we'd never do, but we both love.)

 people always tell you that it goes by fast, but i had no idea.

i just want to push pause, because it is just flying by.

every moment is so precious, and we feel so lucky.

i think we'll have fifteen of them.

watch out, duggars! :)

finn's first easter.

saturday night we headed down to maryland to celebrate easter with family.

finn wore his mr. rogers outfit for the drive. keepin' it real.

 

it was really fun to get all gussied up and take family pictures together after church!

aren't they just the most handsome?

mom didn't have her little patio tent set up yet, but that didn't stop us from enjoying the great weather!

dad just pulled out his redneck skillz and hooked up this here umbrella to keep the baby out of the sun.

nothin' but class on easter sunday, folks.

nothin' but class.

and in case you didn't think we were quite redneck enough, here's a picture of our dogs tied to trees in the yard.

yup.

moving on, 

finn got a really special easter basket from his grandma and grandpa, complete with the stuffed bunny that was in my first easter basket! 

so sweet!

it was a great little trip.  

i can't believe finn's first easter has already come and gone.  

time is really passing so quickly.  i don't like it!

today i have a zillion things to do, my house desperately needs to be cleaned and i have a zillion thank you notes to write.  but i decided it was more important to enjoy this beautiful day, so we went for a jog at our favorite park.  it was tucker's first time running with the stroller and he was a champ!

yep, that's a real picture from the trail we run on.  not from a magical fairytale that you dreamt about.

i know.

way better than vacuuming.

i hope you all had a blessed holiday weekend and get to enjoy this beautiful weather, too! 

the church of the holy coffee cup.

willie and i haven't made it to church since little finner has been born.
we love our church, and it was right around the corner from our barn when were living at macleod's.
but now it's a little bit of a hike.

luckily, it is not a hike to get to the coffee cup.
our favorite diner just a couple of miles from the crib.
today we decided, it being finn's one month birthday and all, that we'd go get ourselves some breakfast.

 the coffee cup is one of those great classic diners that only serves the basics, is dirt cheap, and after you eat there you smell like bacon grease for the rest of the day.  seriously. it gets in your pores.
worth it.

finn has eaten at the coffee cup many, many times.  but today was his first day there on the outside.  it didn't seem to make much of a difference to him.  i didn't really think ahead, and he was dressed super gender-neutral, so lots of people told us how pretty our little girl was.  sorry, finny pie.

we love the coffee cup because they have coffee news, and billy is the coffee news trivia master.  and we like to look for the coffee news man.  billy always finds him first, but today i did! win.

the coffee cup is also the only place i've come across in pennsylvania that has texas pete as their house hot sauce instead of tabasco.  this is huge.

we always get the same thing when we go for breakfast, so we never look at the menu.  but we do appreciate its very cutting-edge homemade clipart graphics and lamination.

it was a lovely breakfast, and finn was very well behaved.  here he is showing off his "fake smile".

this week, the church of the holy coffee cup was a success.  next week, we're going to make it to real church!  (although it's hard to convince billy that there's anything holier than a belly full of scrapple and an afternoon with the masters) ;)

finn's first fast food experience.

"we're stopping at bojangles, you say?

what's all the hype? 

i'm bored."

"hey wait!

that chicken biscuit looks delicious!

i don't want this crap binky!

give me some of the good stuff!"

....

....

....

"YOU ATE AN ENTIRE BOWL OF CAJUN PINTO BEANS, WOMAN!?"

two weeks and favorite things.

two weeks ago today...

woah.
what a wonderful whirlwind it has been.
i can't believe our little boy is two weeks old.

so far motherhood is a little different than i expected... although i don't really know what i expected.
after being super laid back easy going pregnant lady, i have somehow morphed into super nervous highly anxious second guessing myself constantly new mommy.

i keep having to remind myself (over and over and over) to stop and take a breath and relax and enjoy little finn being little.
i have to tell myself to stop multi-tasking.
i don't have to simultaneously breastfeed, cook dinner, and do laundry.  (yes i did that).

i want to enjoy the little moments more, i want to cuddle him longer, i want to not freak out when he fusses, and i want to care less about cleaning my floors and organizing baby clothes. 
i want to cut myself a break on putting him on a schedule and being on a routine, and let finn just be a baby for a little while.

i hope that the more i get used to being a mommy, the more i trust my gut, and can breathe deeper, and just relax.  things don't have to be perfect.  they don't have to be textbook.  and i hope i can stop being so suddenly type a- so finn can grow up to be a relaxed and laid back little boy.

i don't know why i'm so nervous!
it's hard when your baby can't say "mom, i prefer sleeping on my side thank you" or "mom, i'm screaming because i just crapped myself, not because i want you to shove your boob in my mouth" or "mom, i'm baking over here, can you please take this hat off of me".
but i'm figuring it out.  luckily finn is a pretty well behaved little fella.

i wanted to share a few favorite things that billy and i have discovered as new parents.
some of the things we like the best for baby finn really surprised both of us.

so here's my first two weeks "favorite things" list:

1) breastfeeding.
it kind of skeeved me out a little bit before.  it definitely skeeved billy out.  but i can now tell you, it's not skeevy, it feels totally normal, it's totally easy, and i just buttoned my size 24 jeans today thankyouverymuch.  weightloss bonus aside, it's seriously fantastic.  many times billy and i have looked at each other and said "seriously, can you imagine having to go mix a bottle of formula in the kitchen right now!?" no. no we cannot.  it's healthy, it's portable, it's easy.  and if my boobs stay this big and my waist keeps shrinking i'll probably breastfeed finn until sixth grade.
ew gross. totally kidding.

2) cloth diapers.
everyone laughed at me when i said i was going to use cloth diapers.  but i'm using them and i love them.  babies poop a lot.  serious amounts of money would be being spent right now on disposables.  finn loves his cloth diapers, they are soft on his butt, and it's no biggie to throw in a load of diapers every other day or so.  we currently use bumgenius newborn size diapers.  i have 16 and it's plenty.  we also use cloth wipes, which i recommend even higher than cloth diapers.  they do an amazing job (much better than disposable wipes) and you can also use them for baby sponge baths.  which brings me to my next favorite thing...

3) a wipes warmer.
if you get a wipes warmer at your baby shower, all the older moms will laugh at you.  it's true.  you will probably think it is superfluous and silly.  it is not.  it is amazing.  it's billy's favorite thing.  we have both wiped a lot of bottoms, and we can tell you that there's nothing little nephews like less than a cold wipe on their willie.  finn is much more tolerant of diaper changes with nice warm wipes.  we use cloth wipes and a cloth wipe warmer.  i make my own "wipe solution" which is 2 cups water, 2 tablespoons natural baby wash, and 2 tablespoons olive oil.  this is like a magic mixture.  it keeps his bottom soft and does a good job at cleaning up sticky stuff.  it also smells delish and is good for his little spongebaths, crusty spitup face, etc.

4) my camelback water bottle.
in the hospital they told me i needed to drink 16oz of water per feeding.  i thought this would be hard to do.  but, as i am constantly thirsty, it is not hard to do.  and i carry my water bottle everywhere.

5) aden & anais muslin swaddling blankets.
finn is never without one.  they are SO soft and so good for swaddling.  i kind of want one.  muslin snuggie?

6) sleepers.
people will tell you that those infant gown thingies are the best.  i didn't like them because then you have to mess with baby socks (they always fall off) and i felt like the gowns always bunched up around his waist and his little legs were always hanging out.  the one piece sleepers are much easier.  and the zipper ones are SUPER easy.  i highly recommend those for jammies.  matching snaps is easier said than done during midnight diaper changes.

7) balboa baby sling.
i had a moby wrap and a sleepy wrap, and i am completely retarded and couldn't get the hang of them.  i don't know if i'm too short or what, but trying to figure out all that fabric... not for me.  finn also hated them.  i just ordered a balboa baby sling off amazon and finn loves it and i can actually put it on.  win.

8) a nursing cover.
i didn't think i needed one, but let me just say that blankets fall off.  free boobin' ain't cool.

9) washable nursing pads.
sometimes your baby's diaper isn't the only thing that springs a leak.

10) dancing with the stars.
what? you didn't know it was my guilty pleasure? finn and i and a husband who wishes to remain anonymous are totally watching the new season.  go karate kid!

he works hard for the money.

daddy went back to work today.

we miss him!

a greater love.

a few days ago while billy was rocking finn he said
"oh my goodness, how did i ever give my parents a hard time about anything?"

it's true what they say about finally understanding how much your parents love you when you have a baby of your own.
this understanding is normally followed by feelings of extreme guilt.
it's like an ahha moment "ohhh i get it! wait, i'm an a-hole."

it's weird to only have known this little person for a week and be willing to do anything to make him happy.  sometimes when i'm singing to him or feeding him or rocking him i can't hold back the tears as i remember all the years of playing house when i was little and rocking my baby dolls.  and i realize it's real now, i'm a real mom, and he's my real baby, and this dream i had my whole life actually came true.

i know it was always my mom's dream to become a grandma as well.  she's been so excited to meet little finn and has waited so anxiously for his arrival.  she is already the best grandma ever.

about three hours after i got home from the hospital on sunday (right after this picture was taken), my mom went to cvs to pick up my prescriptions for me, and was in a terrible car accident.  her car was totaled and she is lucky to be alive.  but the accident left her pretty beaten up, including a broken leg.

the first week with finn has been such a wonderful one, but it has been bittersweet because of what happened to his sweet grandma.  the first few days we spent at home, the days that she had been looking forward to spending with us for 10 months, she ended up spending in the hospital.  the time she planned on staying with us the first few weeks she has to spend at home in maryland.  and the plan we had for her to watch finn on fridays when i go back to work in april is no longer, since she can't drive.

we don't understand why something like this had to happen, but we're trying to see the positive.  billy and i have been forced to figure stuff out on our own with finn, and it's made us more confident and self- sufficient, although my house is dirtier than i've ever seen it. *sigh*
mostly i just miss my mom and wish she could be here for all of his little smiles and special first few week moments.

 

a week ago this very minute i was in labor and delivery pushing and thinking that my baby would be here any minute.  then everything went crazy and an hour later finn was born via emergency c section.  it was not our plan, but the outcome was still a beautiful baby boy.  it wasn't our plan for this car accident to happen with mom, but i am so glad that finn still has a wonderful grandma that loves him, and plenty of time to make future memories with her.

so, this st. patrick's day, this one week birthday for my little boy, i fully expected to be downing a guinness and frolicking around.  (side note- frolicking is not eastily done after a c-section).  

but instead, i find myself feeling a lot more sentimental.  (hormones happen)

i'm reminded of our nurse at the hospital: a wonderful, fresh-off-the-boat irish lady named rosemary.

she took excellent care of us, told us how much she hated when people called st. patrick "st. patty", and reminded of us of the real reason we celebrate today.

i guess since i've become a mommy, today makes me think of more than shamrocks and green beer.

it makes me think of how much i love my baby, how much i love my mommy, and how truly thankful i am to know a God that loves us all.

but yeah, i think i still might have a guinness later :)