What it's all about

Monday, September 16, 2013

What's in a name? 2nd Edition.

We put a lot of thought into Finn's name, so this time around we wanted to make sure that our little guy number two had a name that was just as special.

We wanted the boys to have names that were similar but also unique unto themselves.  And since we didn't use a family name for Finn, we didn't want to use one for Cole. 

The middle name was actually easier for us to come up with than the first name.  Finn's middle name is Wilde, after Oscar Wilde.  It's special to us not only because we love Oscar Wilde the author, but because we visited his grave in Paris on our honeymoon.  The name really represents a place and time for us- our honeymoon, Paris, and the romance of Oscar Wilde's grave.

So for Cole's middle name, we wanted something just as special, and we always said we would use the middle names of authors, artists, or musicians for our kids.  Enter Andrew Wyeth.  One of my all time favorite painters, we have one of his most famous paintings- Christina's World- hanging in our kitchen.


I have always loved it because it reminds me so much of my Great Granny's farm in Western Virginia.  There's a really cool story behind the painting, too- Christina was actually Andrew's friend up in Maine where he had a summer house growing up.  She was crippled from polio and couldn't walk.  When Andrew died, his will asked that he be laid to rest in Maine next to Christina, and that's where they are today.

Andrew Wyeth has lots of other paintings, too,  a lot of them remind me of my Great Granny's farm, and ironically, those paintings are of the Pennsylvania countryside- because Andrew Wyeth was born and raised right here in Chester County where we live today.


But other paintings of his are from his summer home in Maine- again, ironic, because Billy's parents also have a summer home there as well- but those paintings remind me of Newfoundland where my mom was born and raised.


I like the feelings of nostalgia that these paintings invoke in me, but more importantly, Wyeth represents a new place and time for Billy and I.  Our home in Chester County, and the little family we have planted here.  Wyeth it was.

As for Cole's first name- Cole had always been on my list.  I love the appeal of a one syllable name, and Cole has always had a nice ring to it for me.  It's not super common, it's not super uncommon, it's easy to pronounce on the first day of school.  But what really sold us on Cole was when we found out that it's the anglicized version of the Irish last name MacCool.

For months we had been searching for a legend or historical character that stood up to the legend of Finn MacCool- the Irish giant who we so appropriately named Finn after.  But we couldn't find one that fit the bill.  I think at one point Billy said, "Can we just use Finn again?"  We love this legend and the Irish history and folklore behind it.  So when we found out Cole also payed homage to the same tale, we knew it was a perfect fit.  We love that the boys are named after the same character.  (We joke that if we ever have another boy we'll have to name him Mac).

If you look up the meaning of Finn, you'll find that it means "fair", and if you look up the meaning of the name Cole, you'll find that it means "dark".  We liked the balance of opposites in their names, and we hope that as they grow up together they will be a good complement to each other, just as their names are.

We are so happy with our little Cole Wyeth Murphy!  We think his name suits him just perfectly.


Friday, September 13, 2013

Cole's Birth Story pt. 2

My doctor came in and proceeded to set up shop.  
I had no idea how involved the preparations were for a regular delivery, but basically they set up an entire water park from your waist down to the other end of the room. 
I swear there was a slip 'n slide.
I think I actually said "Is that a slip 'n slide?"  and she laughed and said "Well, things can get pretty messy!"  as she proceeded to hide her face behind a huge plastic shield.  I was really scared I was going to spontaneously combust and everyone in the room was going to be covered in placenta or something the way they were preparing for this thing.

Once my doctor was officially covered from head to toe in waterproof materials, she gave me the go ahead to start pushing.  By this time I was in epidural heaven and I had no idea when I was having a contraction.  The nurse looked at the monitor and let me know when to push for about 5 pushes, and then I could really feel pressure and just took over and pushed whenever I felt like it.  The whole time baby Cole looked great on the monitor (yay!)  I couldn't believe he was actually coming.  After about 15 or 20 minutes of pushing, out he came, just like that!

is he not the cleanest newborn baby you've ever seen? 
maybe it was all that nesting, but things were so tidy during delivery 
and the splash pad didn't see any action.  ha!


I was so proud of Billy, who not only didn't pass out, but also pushed probably just as hard as I did (I told him it wasn't necessary but he couldn't stop) and managed to cut the cord!  Yay Daddy!

I was so proud of my body for cooperating and being strong and pushing out this amazing little person.  My doctor gave me a very small episiotomy that only needed a few stitches, but otherwise I had no trauma.  Which is really kind of unbelievable to me, I mean aren't our bodies just amazing?  What a miracle birth is.

And I was so proud of this new little boy.  He just behaved himself and cooperated so well during my labor.  When Dr. Coldren caught him, she picked him up and cradled him in her arms, and he looked around for a minute, and then closed his eyes and snuggled up to her.  It took a couple good smacks to get a cry out of him.  He was, and still is, the most content little guy. 

The doctor was right about his head being so low when she was trying to break my water, too.  He has two little scratches right on the crown of his head from both attempts.  Bless his little heart.



We didn't have a name for him until much later in the afternoon. 
Originally Jack, Cole, and Declan were top on our list.  But when we saw him we almost named him Tagg.  His face changed so much in the first few hours that we just couldn't decide.  Eventually we settled on Cole Wyeth Murphy.  And the blog post to follow will explain why :)

We had a wonderful time and experience at the hospital.  It was so much less emotional and traumatic and suspenseful than Finn's birth.  Everything was so easy it seemed unfair.  It still does.  And for that reason, I just have to say that c-section moms just don't get enough credit.  It is was so much more physically challenging for me to have a c-section than a regular delivery.  My biggest complaint this go round was puffy eyes the next day from pushing so hard.  Big props to all of my friends and family who wished me a fast, easy, safe delivery.  Because I had just that.  From my first real contraction until he got here at 5:14 a.m., my labor only lasted 4 hours. 

If you had a scary or challenging first delivery, take heart that things do get better with subsequent pregnancies.  I really felt like my body knew what it was doing this time around.  Except for the whole "going into labor" thing.  Still needed a hand with that one.

Cole's first bath.  He weighed in at 7lbs 12 oz and 20 3/4 inches long.  
Finn was born two weeks later than Cole at 8lbs 8 oz and 20 inches long.  
I'm pretty sure if we had let Cole cook as long, he would have been a nine pounder.  
He is a big healthy boy!


Headed to our room in the maternity suite shortly after delivery.

 Puffy eye happiness.

 Enjoying our stay at the hospital.
It's the most expensive hotel stay around, 
but they bring you percocets and watch your baby while you sleep.
worth it.


Cole baby.

Finn came to see us that afternoon with Grandma and Grandpa.  He did well, just as I expected.  
Anyone who knows Finn knows that he is not the most outwardly affectionate person around.  I know he feels big feelings, he just doesn't always show them.  I didn't expect him to show any interest in the new baby, and he didn't, but he was very happy to see Billy and I and we caught him watching the baby whenever he thought no one was looking.  I have no doubt that he knows exactly what's going on, and he's really been doing a good job rolling with everything.  I was worried he might not be so gentle "get that thing out of your arms, mom"- but he has been very gentle and sweet.  We've logged a few baby pats. 
Cole's really going to grow on him.


I cried when we left the hospital.  It's amazing how quickly it all happens and is over.  What a blessing my pregnancy and delivery with Cole was.   I feel so fortunate that I was able to have a totally different experience this go round.  Both Finn and Cole's birth were so special to me and taught me so much.  

I'm especially grateful for my doctor this time, who really helped me feel empowered and capable throughout my whole pregnancy, and who listened to me.  She trusted me when my gut said that breaking my water would send me into labor, and she made it happen.  After Cole was born she told me, "You were right!  This was exactly the right thing to do, you knew it, and you did it!"  I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  

But right now, being home with our two boys feels just right. :)


Links to Finn's birth story Part One and Part Two. 

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Cole's Birth Story pt. 1

What a whirlwind!  It's hard to believe that we are all tucked in at home, one big happy family of four!  I wanted to sit down and write out Cole's birth story before I forgot all of the details, but first I re-read Finn's Birth Story from 2 1/2 years ago!  It seems like yesterday.  I thought Cole's delivery was completely different from Finn's- and in a lot of ways it was- but there were a lot of similarities, too.  So it was cool to look back and see that.

After Finn's c-section delivery, and the discovery of my unbridled love for epidurals, I had to go with a different practice for this pregnancy.  I said goodbye to the midwives and hello to a small practice of all female obgyn's in our area.  At my very first prenatal appointment, I told the doctor to go ahead and sign me up for a repeat c-section.  I thought it would be the easiest and safest route, and to be honest, not many practices around here are even willing to let you try to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean section), and I didn't even know if my new practice did or not.  In my mind, I had already done the scary dramatic delivery, and I was totally content with a safe and predictable scheduled c-section for the second time around.

Surprisingly, the doctors in the practice- although supportive- questioned my decision.  Over the course of the next few months at my prenatal appointments they asked me questions like "Why would you choose to have a major surgery when you might not need one?" and reminded me how much better a recovery from a vaginal birth would be than a recovery from a c-section- especially with a two year old at home.  I did some thinking, and towards the end of my pregnancy, I decided I'd give a vaginal delivery a shot.  I have heard c-section horror stories and vaginal delivery horror stories- there's really no easy way out- but I thought, hey, let's just see how things go and hopefully we'll end up with the best possible outcome. 

Because Finn was so big and so late, my doctor had me go ahead and schedule a c-section for Cole on his actual due date, Thursday the 5th at noon.  She told me that second babies are generally bigger than first babies, and boys are bigger than girls.  So the decision to take Cole right on time was a good one, as I didn't have much luck with pushing out Finn's huge overdue head, and Cole was stacking up to be just as big or bigger.  The hope was that I would go into labor on my own before then.  Despite having regular contractions and tons of signs of impending labor for the whole last month of my pregnancy, I didn't go into labor.  But by the time Wednesday, September 4th rolled around, I was walking around at 3 1/2cm dilated and 90% effaced, with Cole's head at a -2 station.  That basically means he was halfway born but I wasn't in labor.  My doctor didn't know how I was walking.  We decided maybe he just needed a little kick in the pants to get things moving.  The plan was for my doctor to try to sneak me into the hospital the night before my c-section and break my water to see if that was enough of a kick start to throw me into real labor on my own.  I was supposed to call the hospital at 5:45p.m., right after my doctor's shift started, and then she was going to ask the charge nurse if I could come in.  She said if it wasn't busy, and the charge nurse was nice, then I should be able to head in Wednesday night.

Wednesday night came with the utmost anticipation.  My parents were here to watch Finn, our bags were packed, my floors were mopped, and I had written something like 13 pages of instructions on how to pack Finn's bag for school.  Let's just say I was prepared.  But when I called, my doctor told me that the charge nurse said "no."  Major womp womp.  But there was still hope!  The shift change was at 7 p.m., and maybe the new charge nurse would be in better spirits.  My doctor promised to plead my case to the new nurse at 7 and call me back.  At around 7:30 I got the call.  "Can you be here by 9?" she said.  YES!  We were thrilled.  And we had gotten to tuck Finn into bed one last night before we left, so it all worked out great.

We got to the hospital and got settled in.  I got hooked up to the monitors and Billy tested out the daddy cot he thought he was going to be sleeping on that night.  As much as I have always wanted that suspenseful hollywood rush to the hospital labor, it really is fun to pack your bags and go to the hospital like you're going on vacation.




My doctor came in at 9:30 to break my water and get things moving.  I was super excited and ready.  I was totally expecting to feel a huge fluid rush while she poked around down there and to immediately know that my water had broken, but it didn't work out that way at all.  My water didn't break.  "I'm sure I got it" my doctor said, "But the baby's head is right there, and I don't want to scratch it much harder."  I was instructed to walk around for a while and see if I was going to spring a leak.  Billy and I walked the halls for an hour.  He stole a milk out of the nurse's break room fridge.  I chewed some ice.  Nothing else exciting happened.  We were bored.

We went back to our room and turned on the tv when my nurse came in and discovered us.  "I don't think she got it."  I said.  We waited around a couple more hours, and then around 12:30 my doctor came back to give it another shot.  Again, I expected a huge rush of fluid, but nothing.  Either the baby's head was so low that it was blocking the fluid, or I didn't have any fluid.  We didn't know what to think.  My doctor left us once more, saying we could start me on a really low pitocin drip to encourage to labor if this second water breakage attempt didn't work.  But this time, a few minutes later I felt a leak.  We were in business!  I got up to go to the bathroom and finally my water broke.  Hooray!  My contractions started up like clockwork.  "How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10?"  my nurse asked.  "Oh, like a 1."  I said.  "I'm totally fine."  We figured it would take a while for things to really get going.  This was around 1:30 a.m.




My nurse left, and all of a sudden my contractions really stepped it up.  I think in the span of 15 minutes I probably had about 6 or 7 contractions, and I wanted no part of it.  No part.  Billy was laughing at me for being so dramatic, but I was not kidding.  "Call the nurse", I said.  "I want my anesthesiologist!"  When the nurse came back in, she thought I wanted a drink or something.  I had gone from a completely comfortable and excited "1 on the pain scale"  to a monster climbing the hospital bed in agony in the span of 15 minutes.  "I don't know if you can have an epidural yet," my nurse said, "you're only at 1cm."  I replied with
"I CAME IN AT 3 1/2 CM AND MY DOCTOR SAID I CAN HAVE AN EPIDURAL WHENEVER I WANT!"  then i wiped the foam from my mouth.
"Oh, that's right,  I forgot."  She said.  She called the doctor who, as predicted, said I could have my epidural.
By some blessed miracle the anesthesiologist came in within 5 minutes and got to work.  He was trying to make small talk but I could barely see, let alone speak.  "I don't know what happened to her," my nurse said, "she was totally fine 15 minutes ago."  Little did she know!

After about 30 minutes my epidural was in and starting to work.  It took a while for it to fully take effect, and I was still really struggling through my contractions.  Once I finally started to feel comfortable, the nurse left.  I asked her when she would come back to check me again and she said "not for a while, it doesn't really matter if you're 3cm or 6cm, it only matters when you're 10cm."
She came back five minutes later.
"I'm going to check you." she said.  "The baby looks like he's really dropped down."  (I guess they can tell these things by the monitor).
Sure enough, I was at 8 1/2cm.  I basically dilated 5cm in 20 minutes.  Billy got a big punch in the shoulder for calling me a wimp during those bone crushing contractions.

The nurse told us to try to get some rest and she would come back in an hour to check me and see if it was time to push.  Billy settled in comfortably on his man cot, but my anesthesiologist had given me a shot of ephedrine with my epidural to keep my blood pressure up, and I felt like I could run a 5k.  I also had one weird little window in my lower left abdomen where the epidural didn't take, and I felt like I had a hole in the side of my stomach that was on fire every time I had a contraction.  It was super weird.  After an hour passed, the nurse came in and checked me.  "You're definitely at 10!"  she said.  "I'm going to go get a drink and pee and then you can try pushing!"  (I swear the MOST casual nurse ever.)

At this point it was about 4:40 a.m.  We couldn't believe how fast everything was happening and how well!  I kept asking how the baby was doing, and he looked great the whole time.  In our minds, we still didn't have a guarantee for a regular delivery.  I was still expecting to be rushed into the OR for an emergency c-section after I pushed some more, just like I was with Finn.  I was fully prepared for that outcome.  

When my nurse came back she told me to push and she'd see how good of a pusher I was and then call Dr. Coldren when we got close.  After push one, she told me to stop pushing and she called the doctor right away.  It was baby time!